Great Merchant - Dao Ming (Chapter 2 - Cursed Child, Beloved Child 2)

“Ah! Master Monk is here!” One of the children resting on the side of the path spots the monk approaching from the desolate main road, immediately calling for others’ attention.

The children bow their head slightly to the monk before resuming their task, the ones that are currently resting look at the monk with hopeful eyes. The monk straightens his left hand vertically, resting his thumb over his heart, returning the greeting. The prayer beads in that hand didn’t sway one bit in the process.

“Master Green Wisteria.” An elderly man walks toward the monk, his back hunching slightly, his hands dyed in a brownish yellow hue, similar to his robe.

Oops! Sorry for the late post!

You can blame Ishman for letting me know that Dwarf Fortress came out with a new edition... and I got sucked into reading everything about it, I hope I don't get sucked into playing it once all the peripheral programs get updated! Enjoy this chapter of EC, it doesn't add much story wise, made me god damned angry from digging and hungry though, mainly the last part. >.<

Volume 3 - Chapter 16 - Prelude to the Grand Opening

Previously on EC…

Bell got more investment than she had hoped for, the General that Hank hired with some difficulty got whipped by Kun and the students that outside the Academy to experience the world of trade just returned with a caravan in tow.


“Welcome back, everyone. How was it?”

“““Thank you, sensei!”””

Great Merchant - Dao Ming (Chapter 1 - Cursed Child, Beloved Child 1)

I was supposed to finish EC first... but this one is just so easy, literally half the length. Although Ishman swears it's more like 1/8th or something >.>
I will try to get EC up tomorrow or the day after, without further ado, enjoy~

A youth dressed in a beige, monastic robe lazily lies sideways on a large, flat boulder next to a quietly murmuring, magnificent river, with his left leg casually crossing over his right. His head is propped up by his right hand, his elbow providing elevation, his left hand draping down the side of his body, the very depiction of relaxation as the figure sleeps under the shade of a willow tree, with the sun blazing at its zenith in the sky.

Great Merchant - Dao Ming (Prologue 4)

Prologue 4

A spiraling black hole appears thousands of meters up in the violet, swirling sky, shortly after, a young man with white hair drops out of it.

The young man opens his eyes at the sudden scenery, realizing his predicament.

“Oh shit! AHHH!!” The man can only scream and flail as he starts to fall.

“Oh, would you just shut up?” A figure appears next to the young man from nowhere, plucking him up by the neck and stops his descent. It releases its hand after the young man stops struggling.

“Eh… what the?” The young man looks left and right as he floats in the air. “Um… Thanks.” He turns and cups his hands to the figure, which turns out to be a guard dressed in ceremonial armour.

“Didn’t they explain you can fly at the Dispatch Counter? Damn bastards must be slacking off again.” The guard rolls his eyes in exasperation. “Alright, just get in your line and wait your turn.”

“Um… what line?”

“Huh?! The line for the Domain and World you will be reincarnating into! Where’s your registration paper?”

The young man starts looking around, unsure of what’s going on.

“Don’t tell me you lost it?!”

“Umm… I don’t know the name of the Domain, but I was told it was made in the last few thousand years and I was supposed to head to something called Star Number 5354?” The young man offers sheepishly.

“That’s probably the Domain of the Endless Seekers then… 5354 eh…” The guard pulls out an ornate clipboard before flicking his fingers on it. “What is your name?”

“Li Fang Sing.”

“There you are… What the hell?! They didn’t even fill in which office was responsible for you!” The guard snaps his head away from the clipboard and stares into space in a particular direction, gnashing his teeth. “Alright, follow me, just walk normally.” Without waiting, the guard turns around and walks toward the floor. Countless lines sprawl across the barren, twisted landscape, like the grain on an ancient piece of lumber. Wordlessly, the pair approaches a comparatively short line in the distance, the people in line can be vaguely distinguished, like ants harvesting nectar. Many were the same size, with the odd few that are bigger, smaller, some with wings, some with horns, others with different features.

“Delivery! Delivery for Li Fang Sing!” A large, translucent kite chirps while pulling a cart stall with a lantern hanging with the word “Deliver” on it. Hearing that, the guard turns around and waits patiently for the bird to pull up next to them.

“Li Fang Sing?” The bird’s head stares at the young man, its head jerking and stopping at different angles.

“Yes? That’s me…?”

“Good, good, press thumb here.” The kite waves its right wing, a clipboard appears out of nowhere in a shower of light. The young man presses his thumb onto it as asked. The kite waves it left wing shortly after, whereupon the clipboard is replaced by 3 satchels. “Thank you, thank you.” The kite coos before grabbing the satchel labeled ‘For the Netherworld Deliverymen’ with its beak as it starts running off into the distance, chirping ‘Delivery! Delivery!’.

[T/N: The references are SO HEAVY, that I’ll be adding T/N quite a bit, especially for our western audience. When buddhists in the CJK region burn their offering to the dead, they often burn a small bundle of spirit money for the delivery as ‘tip’. As for the kite, it’s a symbol of Garuda, this ‘might’ relate to the fact that whenever an offering is burnt, a wild gust of air would come and scatter the ashes to ‘collect the offering’ and bring them to the dead. I’m not that big of a buddha scholar, so forgive me if I get this reference wrong.

“Woah, looks like you aren’t going to be a Yamaduta anytime soon.” The guard comments before starting to walk again.

[T/N: Yamaduta are the Messengers of Yanlou/Yama/Enma, they are spirits that no longer receive offerings thus getting no spirit monies, having to work it off ya know, no freeloaders!

Fang Sing puts one of the satchels into the breastpocket inside his hempen robe while inspecting the other satchel as he walks. The satchel is made with rough cloth, obviously intended to be durable as opposed to being cheap. There’s a small strip of silken cloth on it with the name ‘Li Fang Sing’ on it along with his thumbprint, the words ‘Letters and Offerings’ printed along its side. He lightly pulls on the string of the satchel, wondering what it’s about. A sudden deluge of mental images filled with the entire inventory of the satchel floods his mind. Fang Sing quickly closes the satchel, with the images fading right away. He tucks the satchel away and takes out the other one, inspecting it. It look identical to the earlier satchel, save for the words ‘Spirit Money’ replacing the text next to his name instead.

“Oy, oy, come on, look at that when you get in line, it isn’t like you won’t have time for it.” The guard calls towards the young man as he noticed Fang Sing slowing down behind him.

“Ah, sorry, coming!” The two make their way to the end of a line after a while without incident.

“Alright, get in line, wait for your Mapo Soup and you will be reborn after drinking it. This line is really short with the Domain being new and all, but most people normally read the stuff sent by the living to pass the time. Good luck.” The guard turns to fly away after giving a curt comment.

“Brother hell-warden! Wait!”

“Eh, what now?!” The man turns back with a slightly irritated tone of voice.

Fang Sing reaches into his robe and then pulls out a Spirit Coin, offering it toward the guard with both hands. “This little gesture is to thank you for helping me.”

“Hahaha!” The guard laughs before taking the coin and slaps the young man on his shoulder. “I like you! You have some manners!” He looks back and forth a bit, as though he’s making sure of his surroundings. “Alright, here’s some advice, the Domain you are going to is a convergence of all the other Domains, so I recommend you buy some Karmic Enhancement for Physicality with your Spirit Money if you have any. But even if you don’t, don’t ever sell your own Karma for Spirit Money, those merchants are rip-offs. Same with any artifacts, currency is actually pretty common since the living often send them down, but artifacts from offerings are really limited, so they are priceless.”

“Domain? Karma Enhancement? Artifact?” The young man tilts his head, not completely understanding what has been said.

“Um… Domain is eh…” The guard brings out the clipboard again, flicking his fingers once more. “Okay, you are from the Green Jade domain. So it’s like this, a Domain is like a Kingdom, it rules a certain area. Each Domain has numerous worlds, think of it like your cities. The various Domains make up ‘All of Existence’, with each Domain having certain features. You, for example, came from the Domain of Green Jade, which is ruled by a Jade Emperor who focused more on enlightenment than technology. There are many strange Domains like the Domain of Three Thousand Worlds which has been ruled by a weird twine of a demon lord and hero pair, Domain of the Sovereign Planes where the Overgod rulers merely maintain their realm and their worlds are flat, Domain of the Thousand Suns where technology reigns, with space-faring in metal behemoths as the norm, Domain of the Azure Dream where you’ve got souls that come in many different forms and can utilize energy in the form of magic and so forth.”

[E/N: huehuehue T/N: these references to other series]

The young man listens carefully, as these different concepts of worlds completely overwhelm his mind. Magic? Spacefarers? Demon Lord? Overgods? His mind feels numb, but he has to listen and try to retain it nevertheless. One never knows when a seemingly trivial piece of information can affect one’s life.

“As for Karmic Enhancement… well, it’s something you can buy with Spirit Money to alter your next reincarnation, making you stronger, smarter and so forth. But these Enhancements are only temporary and won’t be carried with your soul to your incarnation, so it’s just something to make your next life easier. Your Karma on the other hand is permanent, it’s what you had gained throughout your lives, if you sell that, you will be losing the connections you made and experiences you lived, in short, you will be literally selling yourself.” The guard makes a serious face, “I repeat, don’t sell it.”

Fang Sing nods showing that he’s taking that advice to heart.

“As for Artifacts… well, since you only got what… only 999 incarnations, you probably haven’t even seen one. Don’t worry about it, you will know when you get one anyways.” The man looks up, spotting something in the sky. “This is all I can tell you, good luck!” The guard flicks the coin into a rapid spin before catching it in his hands as he walks away.

[T/N: Blame Ishman for all these T/N T.T. “Catching it in his hands” is referring to a trope used in asian media for a trait of someone slightly greedy happy to earn a small profit where they toss it up and claps the coin in their hands. E/N: I’mHelping.jpg It’sallonfire.jpg]

The young man cups his hand and bows to the retreating figure, before turning and joining the line in front of him. The line moves very slowly, as it crawls ever so lazily closer to the front, some of the Souls in the line start talking to each other out of boredom. Others would read letters in their hands with various expressions. Likewise, Fang Sing has also been reading the individual letters he received.

A faint smile appears on his face, it seems his old friends and allies succeeded after he died while hiding in the wagon. The coup was a success and the country was stabilized before the other kingdoms caught wind of it and attempted an invasion. The ones that move him the most were the numerous letters with weird, nonuniform lines and symbols mixed in with a few simple words that came with offerings of common wildflowers and plain steamed buns. These were obviously from the peasants, the fact they can even offer steamed buns to him and attempt to write is a sign that the country is improving. While in deep thought, a singing voice caught his attention.

“One single life, two attachment, three eight twenty four, four sour dough.” A short, pockfaced man pushes a stall cart along the line, singing a nonsensical, lamenting song. “Karma! Get your Karma here!”

[T/N: This is… IIIIIIMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIBBBBBLLLEEEE to translate right. It’s a funny rhyme thing based on numbers. One (counter) Life, Two (counter) Attachment (like husband and wife, or dependants), Three Eight is slang for “nosy”/”stupid”, Twenty Four is nonsense, but 3x8 is 24 from the 9x9 timetable song, so... yeah. Four Sour Dough is 4 dead corpse or similar. Just think of it as a funny, nonsensical singalong.

“Oy! Merchant! You sell any food?!” A pig-faced creature five spaces ahead of Fang Sing asks.

“Eh, why the hell would you need food as a ghost? Piss off!” The short man keeps pushing the stall as no one seems to be interested.

“Um… If you don’t mind, I can trade you some?” The young man sticks his head out and asks.

“Eh? Really?”

“Yep, hm… how does some White Cut Chicken on Rice sound?”

“Don’t know what that is, is it good?” The creature tilts its head to the side.

“Oh, ah, here.” The young man pulls out a large bowl of white rice topped with poached chicken, the bright yellow skin of the chicken glistens with a luster with some garnishing on top. “It’s this.” The creature snorts and takes a deep breath as he walks out of the line, quickly patting himself, reaching for something.

“You’ve got a deal!” The creature hands over a battleaxe before quickly grabbing the bowl and starts stuffing his snout into it. The young man looks at the heavy axe in his hand before putting it into his satchel with a shrug. The trade itself isn’t really important, since his benefactor had also said that a ‘Satisfied Ghost is better than a Hungry Ghost’ and he certainly agrees with that statement after eating his fill.

“Hey, buddy, you’ve got any more of those weird food of yours?” A man with a horse body inquires as he watches his friend eating the food like a bear after hibernation.

[T/N: The original for “” is “like he hadn’t eaten anything in his life” which is a common idiom/slang… but it doesn’t carry well in english considering they are dead and ppl not familiar with it will get the wrong impression.]

“Sure, how about a Buddha’s Delight?” Fang Sing pulls out a vegetarian dish with mushroom and tofu.

“Yoink!” The horseman swaps for the dish and replaces it with a bow and starts pigging out next to his friend.

It didn’t take long before others in line started requesting things, and as though it caused a chain reaction, other Souls from Domains that have a practice of sending food offerings to their dead also started trading with their neighbours. In the process, Fang Sing learns that these creatures are from different Domains or different parts of the same Domain of Green Jade where he originated. There are Orcs, Minotaurs, Centaurs, Elves, Dwarves, Squidmen and numerous other creatures, which greatly broaden his horizon.

As the line had gotten lively, the wait didn’t seem as long. One group after another soon disappears, as they reach the old woman stirring a pot and scooping out the fluid into a bowl. Soon, it was Fang Sing’s turn.

“‘Being Drunk, you are still 30% awake.’ The next time you wake up, you will be as a babe. Drink it and walk into the portal there.” The woman’s eyes are pure white as though she’s blind, yet, she gives the feeling that she can see more clearly than anyone here. Her gnarly finger points toward a swirling black hole directly behind her.

[T/N: ‘Being Drunk, you are still 30% awake.’ is transliteral since… we can’t think of an equivalent. It’s pretty much means even if you are drunk/dreaming, you are still somewhat aware. It reads really smooth in Chinese, sadly, only in Chinese >.>]

The young man did as asked and drinks the so called Mapo Soup, which smells faintly of alcohol. As he walks into the portal, his world turns blank.

Volume 3 - Chapter 15 - Surprise, Surprise, Surprise

Previously on EC…

Till became the target for some bastards, got rescued by some weird people, when in fact she was never in any danger due to her mom’s company’s security team covering her when she activated her ‘oh shit’ button. Bell reeling in some big fishes after feeding them chum and dangling bait in front of them, tempting them to invest into her little resort plan for Second Phantasia.

Meta Post: Battle of Chinglish, Americanese, the damn Brits and broken keyboards.

I thought it would be very easy to do this, but apparently I'm wrong! The chinglish (chinese+english smashed together for an unholy child of darkness) proves to be interesting (I laughed too much to be serious). Now a certain someone started peaking over my shoulder after I finished editing the 3 chapter with Ishman and the bitch started reading the email I received, demanding that I clarify it into proper Chinese. I'm turning that down ofc, unless mr. author gets a deal somewhere and need to me do it. 

THAT'S RIGHT YOU BITCH, DON'T READ OTHER PEOPLE'S STUFF WITHOUT PERMISSION, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

...

...

...

Ahem, right, so me and Ishman are constantly having these grammar nazi battles, but one of them seems to come up a lot. This is something what I like to call "the unit" rule, I don't remember the actual name of the rule, but it's like this.

1) A crowd walks into a bar.

2) A crowd walk into a bar.

1) A pair (of something) moves that way.

2) A pair (of something) move that way.

Two pairs (of something) move that way.

The key is that "s" on the the verb. I was taught to identify the subject/entity to determine their singular/plural form to apply the corresponding form for the verb. Here's where it gets tricky. For me, I identify the "entity" at "crowd" and "pair", even though a "crowd" consists of multiple people, it's treated as a single entity in that sentence. 

So I'd go with "A crowd walkS into a bar". The same for pair, it's "a pair" which is a single entity, the pair itself is singular, despite the fact that it contains two of something. So I'd go with "A pair (of something) moveS that way." The "of something" is irrelevant since it's just a descriptor of the "pair".

In the 3rd case, the entity "pairs" is "two", making it a so that "Two pairs (of something) move that way. I think I'm on the same page there with Ishman.

So, you guys will have to help me decide which style to go with,  1) or 2) For the record, I'm more on the British side in term of English grammar rules while Ishman is obviously more on the American side xP

Off the record, Ishman's keyboard died and it doesn't type a certain letter well, he really wants a working _ *Sumguy gets shanked as promised*

Great Merchant - Dao Ming (Prologue 3)

Inside the Room of Meditation

“Please wait here, General.” A pair of guards respectfully guides a fat, bald, ruddy old man into the crystalline room. “We will prepare your carriage right away.” They cup their hands and bow deeply before leaving the room.

Volume 3 - Chapter 14 - New Beginnings (Down)

Previously on EC…

Rick gives some advice to his neighbour, only to be chased after by suspicious men in black as soon as he hits the road for his morning training. Running like mad, he outsmarted and evaded capture and managed to get help, catching his pursuers instead. After spending a day with the police to sort out the misunderstand, he learns that he is a sought after man. Given the options available to him -after an altercation with his father who came to the station- he opted to be under surveillance for the time being. Rick sends off an email to the rest of our MCs before crashing into his bed.

Till -aka Nyoko- received the email right away, as she sends an email to Bell to inquire, a confrontation with a group of delinquents occurs.

Great Merchant - Dao Ming (Prologue 2)

“THAT IS FOR THIS COURT TO DECIDE, WE WILL BE FAIR AND IMPARTIAL TO EVERYONE, FROM THE LOWEST SCUM TO THE GREATEST JADE EMPEROR.” King Yanlou’s voice booms out once more, as he turns his head slightly towards the man reading the scroll.

“Heh, if only we had your kind of judge back home.” The young man’s bitter smile deepens, mocking the corrupted officials from his country in his heart.

“Silence, you may talk when you defend yourself or have anything to add.” The judge-secretary walks up the steps to the pedestal, scroll in hand as he places it onto the low-rising table in front of King Yanlou and whispers into his ears. The secretary’s brush pen hovering above the scroll, moving to different parts every now and then.

Great Merchant - Dao Ming (Prologue 1)

Remember how I said I was going to be working on something with a friend months ago and then he disappeared on me? Well, he's back, sorta, he's still stuck in the boonies somewhere in China-Not-China, but he finally got internet and is alive, so I'll be doing this original series on the side with EC as the main. This seems to be a LOT easier to deal with since it's strictly traditional chinese unlike the triple whammy that is EC, also a lot less headache and way less research required (at least I hope so, everything I read so far I knew right away without needing to look it up, so \o\ \o/ /o/ huzzah!). Now if only I can somehow get him to do the web design with his potato over there >.>

Without further ado, here's 財神 - 道明 / Great Merchant - Dao Ming

“No! Let me go! I’m innocent, it’s all those peasants’ fault! I’M INNNOOOCCCEEEEEENNNNNTTTTTT!”

A deep voice screams for an appeal, to no avail as it’s dragged into one of the numerous passages to the left of the stern-looking man sitting cross-legged on an elevated pedestal behind a low-rising table. On top of the pedestal sat a man with eyes closed, his headpiece standing erect, with its two rounded rectangle winglets in perfect position.

Volume 3 - Chapter 13 - New Beginnings (Middle)

Previously on EC - The group that went to rescue the Princess completed their quest, a soldier within the Princess’ Guard turns out to be a refugee from the Pent Kingdom and request asylum from our MCs. Hank, Kun’s guardian-ish uncle-like person, wraps up a lecture on medical treatment in the field, hinting at the appearance of a certain military figure that plans to wreck havoc on the future trainees.


*Ling Ling* *Ling Ling*

Two metallic bells chime above the shuddering, round, analog alarm clock.

*DON*

A hand makes a lazy arc in the air before heavily smacking the clock into silence.

“Uwaaaa…”

A youth crawls sluggishly out of bed, his naked upper body stopping momentarily in the warm morning sun. With his eyes half-closed, he does his usual morning rituals of cleansing himself before doing his daily run.

Volume 3 - Chapter 12 - New Beginnings (Up)

Previously on EC…

After flipping numerous tables due to the biology reviews in two languages… wait, that’s my story *flips table*

Previously on EC…

Bell evacuated on the giant nightlight -that’s Sammy- with the Princess and her attendants, while Rick and the demihumans escorted the Princess’ Guard out of the forest. Till joined Kun in acting as the rearguard, breaking the opposing scouts’ spirits. Till revealed that she has been studying theories and records devised by Bell on the usage of magic, finally joining Bell and Kun in being able to fully use new, modified spells. The two (Kun and Till) of them completely blocked off the later pursuers by completely overwhelming them with magic unknown to most of those in both worlds, causing the night to become an epic tale known as “The Faeries’ Night March”.

Volume 3 - Chapter 11 - A Light in the Dark / Hope (Down)

Previously on EC…

Kun proposed a method of treatment for the Princess, which Bell helped refine. Kun and Rick left the fort soon after as the Princess needed to be nude for Till to manage the physical symptoms while the Princess proceeds with the treatment. The duo has a little chat on the trees, shortly joined by demihumans and Gui whom all had some protein bars (I was so tempted to T/N in on the previous chapter xP). Unfortunately, the outside forces managed to break into the fort, forcing the Princess and her retinue to flee. In the process, one of the Princess’ guard recognized one of the demihumans, causing them to go slackjawed. Due to the result of the Princess glowing like a beacon, it attracted all the fighters on the surface while they were evacuating, forcing the touching reunion to be delayed. At some point, Kun and Gui disappeared in the midst of the evacuation, and are now harassing the scouts from the other forces with fire that tries to facehug them.

“Form up! We are going to help the Emissary!” The leader of the guard draws her weapon and points toward the chaotic fires weaving throughout the line of trees.

Volume 3 - Chapter 10 - A Light in the Dark / Hope (Up)

Previously on EC…

After successfully breaking into the fort, they confronted the original quest giver. Bell, Rick and Till finally gets to meet the Princess who endured the devastation of an illness to ensure that the Royalists who are ruining the country will die with her with a faux-rebellion. Bell and Till tries to diagnose the illness with no success until Rick mades a guess which strangely made sense. The trio immediately calls upon Kun for a solution.

As a side note, there were so much parts where I wanted to add unnecessary translator notes, but I held back since they needlessly ruin the reading experience. I will have to learn to code the mouse over thing eventually, but I’m lazy as fuck and there’s still the other side project that I was supposed to do… and the help I got, well, he got dragged to Taiwan for a few weeks orz

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The attendant jumps a few decimeters into the air as she enters the door, surprised by Kun’s shout. Seeing that everyone else reacts hopefully towards his exclamation, the black-haired young man’s back seems to give her a sense of reliability despite not knowing who he is.

Happy 1st Anniversay re:translations~

Enjoy the mass release of stuff folks~

I have removed the Donation options for the time being since I feel like I don't work enough at the moment to be receiving any. Thanks for the wellwishes and so forth, it's appreciated and especially the case of beer, it's very appreciated J.P! Dragon Stout <3 nbsp="" p="">I've recharged somewhat through the power of cuteness, nomnoms and fluffy doge (really fluffy doge), will see if I can get back onto a 1 chap/wk rhythm during the next few weeks. I'm no Ren or a rabid Ferret or the 35th WoollyHornyLongEars and similar TLers, so I can't ever hope to do 1/day even though it's summer and the kids are easier to handle. In short, I can't physically do it.

Also, I've finally added a little summary about the previous chapter in the new post, it will probably become a standard moving forward since it helps refresh people's memory since my posts are relatively far apart. You can thank Ishman for that.

Oh right, I "might" be helping someone do a diction, so someone might be joining me here for another series. Will see how it goes, see you all next time. o/

Edited: Blogger misread a line and turned it into a pseudo code, oops, fixed now~

Volume 3 - Chapter 9 - The Circumstances of the 1st Princess

Previously on EC…

The quartet went tunnel hunting and succeeded, allowing Dosnak to scout the interior in his slime form. The group also attacked a camp in the middle of the night, forcing them to run into the defenders at the underground entrance, setting off a domino effect in which the different camps set off to do battle. After their success, Bell volunteered to act as bait and entered from the front entrance alone, causing chaos as the defenders tries to chase her down while the others tries to rush in lest they miss their chance. After exploding the small hole they used for the slime scouting, Bell redirected the debris from below, keeping the new tunnel clear. As Rick and Till emerge from the dust, the youth exclaims at the female elf leading the group of guards that’s confronting them.

Life is harsh, Justice is expensive.

Sorry folks, I didn't abandon you all, just real life taking its toll on me. One of the thing that I do is provide translations for medical procedures and the like since I have the background and the ability to do so (as in I go with would-be patients as their interpreter). I haven't done that in an official capacity for a very long time, but I was asked to do so for some family friends. This was on top of some family dispute at the time, needless to say, I wasn't in the mood to do, well, anything. That's why I wasn't even on IRC for the past two weeks+.

Recently, I learned that one of my relative died as a result of two doctors fucking up. I had to seek legal advice (we can sue for wrongful death, but the case is tricky and can easily cost $40k+, this is on top of the fact that the widow of the family is supporting her family alone, so it isn't something that's to be decided lightly) and had to deal with some agencies in regards to this, this is on top of consultation with the rest of the family. So, yeah, that's why I've been silent. I couldn't really make a post until recently since I was either too busy, too worn out or too angry. At one point I was only at home for less than 2 hours over 3 days and my old smartphone died quite a while ago, so no internet.

All work and no play makes Sumguy a Scaryguy, so I will see about destressing myself before continuing any TL/help out elsewhere. The chapter was mostly finished before I got trainwrecked, so I finally managed to get some time and get it edited with Ishman. If there's any errors, let me know, cause we were both tired when we did it.

Thank you for your patiences and thanks to those that emailed me to check up on me, I didn't reply to them for the above stated reasons.

Volume 3 - Chapter 8 - Opportunities in Chaos (Down)

“NYAAH! NYYAAAHHHAHAHAAHA! NYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Bell rolls around on top of Sammy, clutching her sides as her laughter booms above the canopy.

“It isn’t what it looks like!” Rick protests as he wipes fruitlessly at his trousers, a wet splotch visible on his pelvis with a water trail leading to the left leg of the pants.

“Is Rick-ni afraid of heights~?” Till subtly moves away from the blond youth as she tries to suppress her giggles.

“Give me a sec, Rick.” Kun cracks a knowing smile as he enjoys the casual teasing before reaching for his right ear. “Gui, ask one of the demihumans to go through the green pack with the triple butterfly knot and get a pair of trousers for Rick.” Kun is well aware that it’s impossible for someone to urinate in the game even if they want to, since Gui tried that days earlier, so it means that the wet spot definitely isn’t a result of Rick pissing his pants from fear.

Oops

Kinda went on a PC fixing and building spree, and the MUD-esque game known as battlearena on Irc didn't help with my productivity (especially since my time spent tutoring increased due to midterms). I've no excuses, got majorly distracted (still distracted even now >.<), sorry. Nothing much to say other than enjoy the newest chapter. I won't promise anything about the next chapter since I can't trust myself at this time, even though it's sitting at about 70% done right now ><

Volume 3 - Chapter 7 - Opportunities in Chaos (Middle)

“Retreat, retreat!” A blonde middle-aged man in muddied, fineries stands at the ready with his sword as he directs various men and elves alike to a place behind him, acting as the rear guard. A finely dressed swordsman is being dragged up by two men who are fleeing as well.

“Sir, the Republicans are fleeing!” An elven archer reports while holding his left shoulder, his left arm dangling.

Update

Sorry for the delay, I got sick for a few days and then I couldn't TL (Trust me, I tried, it came out so horrible T.T) for a bit. Back now, will try to cut the TL time for the next two chapters or something since it is part of the same 3 chapter set.

Might write a synopsis (requested by zee editor) if there is demand for it.

Volume 3 - Chapter 6 - Opportunities in Chaos (Up)

*kiin kiin*

User - Kun has connected

The trio looks at each other, before Bell quickly puts her right hand to her ear and starts to relay the current situation to the new arrival.

…
…
…

“Nyahaha, got it.” The felinoid cheerfully answers the PM before giving Rick a loud *PA* on his back. “Good call earlier, we will fall back for now, let’s head to camp for the meanwhile.”

Fun's over, here's the actual link.

It was at the bottom of the fake chapter in case you folks didn't see it.

Here you go!

Volume 3 - Chapter 5 - Oops

Do note that this is the April Fool edition, proceed further if you want the standard version.

Without da bling and shabling, Bell extendz her collapsed halberd n' runs toward tha playa wit her signature large, silent strides across tha clearing. Before tha yawnin playa can even drop his thugged-out arms, tha felinoid be already high bove his head, wit her halberd all wound up.

*zubashi*

Followed by goin tha fuck into a gangbangin' front flip, tha axehead of tha halberd slashes up towardz tha top of his chest, up tha throat ta tha centa of tha neck, all up in tha chin n' exitin all up in tha top of his nose. Da playa slumps forward wit his niggah ass eyes wide open, landin grill first just behind where Bell landed mere chachas ago. Turnin round sharply, her big-ass booty starts jabbin tha tip of her halberd tha fuck into tha squirrel-ass corpse repeatedly as though it’s her muthafathas’ killer.

"What tha hell is you bustin?!" Rick whispers coarsely over tha PM, still within tha darknizz of tha trees.

Da felinoid stops moving, turnin ta grill toward tha group. "Oops…mutherfuka"

"What oops ya bumblaboobs, git tha hell outta there biaaatch! Yo ass just got marked as a murderer!"

Lookin up, her big-ass booty sees a funky-ass blood-red sword symbol above her head, it’s clearly thear even though it don’t give off no luminosity.

"What tha hell?! This dat crossdressin pervert from before biaaatch! Why tha hell did I get marked- shitnizzle."

Realizin dat she’s bustin a racket, she immediately collapses her halberd n' runs off ta tha nearest tree, beyond tha light of tha dim dangly thang lamp.

*dota dota* *sha*

Da sound of wood bein hustled is followed by tha soft rustlin of dem ded tree shiz.

"Hmm… what tha fuck do you make outta this, mah niggah?"

"What yo mean muthafuka?"

"Yeah, what thafuk yo mean, man? Dont gimme na a dat shit"

"Well, even though we biatchslapped tha First Supa-Hoe’ quest, she’s bustin our asses ta tha Third Supa-Hoe instead n' askin our asses not ta tell her dat her big-ass booty busted us. What gives?"

"No clue shineshine, wish I knew mo' bout what’s goin on wit tha Norman Mackdaddydom… but I hope you muthafuckas ain’t mad dat I didn’t end up acceptin dat shit."

"Pffft, we holla'd we’d stop bustin shiznit like dat already, we ain’t no dirtydealas."

ED: OOPS

"That’s right my niggah, we ain’t gonna trick no muthafucka n' no muthafucka ain’t gonna trick our asses again, dis shiznit should be bout adventure n' manlinizz n' what tha fuck not!"

"Hahaha, glad you muthafuckas feel tha same biaaatch! … Hmm, biatch? Hendricks, why tha hell is you chillin on tha floor, didn’t you say you’d wait fo' our asses outside?"

Three pimps exit from a hidden trapdoor as they rap amongst theyselves, struttin outta tha dimly lit staircase dat leadz underground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! One of dem strutts toward tha body layin on tha ground n' pokes it roughly up in tha booty wit tha blunt end of tha spear up in his hand.

"Ya bro, Hendricks, time ta go…" Da playa bendz down, roughly bobbin tha unresistin body. "What thafukman?! Defensive Formation!"

Da other two pimps shout "Defensive Formation" down tha staircase before rushin over tha dude, whoz ass immediately jumps up, brandishin his spear as he looks tha fuck into tha darknizz. Da others do tha same, albeit wit some mad drama.

"What-"

"Hendricks is dead as fuckin fried chicken at mah ma's batsmitzba."

Before tha question can be asked, tha playa already gave tha answer n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Shortly after, 17 mo' pimps n' dem hoes step tha fuck up from tha staircase, drawin dem weapons as they strut their fine mmhmm ass outta dat hole.

"Shiznit, peep what tha fuck you did hommie! Kun is signalin dat we should git outta here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Let’s hook up back at camp." Rick whispers harshly wit a PM ta Bell before disappearing, headin tha fuck into a gangbangin' finger-lickin' different direction from da hell they came from.

* * * * *

"Care ta explain yo ass, Bell?" Kun asks wit a cold-ass lil confounded expression, wit his thugged-out arms crossed.

Da crew had returned silently, all up in a roundabout route, in case them coppas gets on our case. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Afta scarin tha sentry fo' a split moment, they gathered round tha main burnin campfire.

"I… ain't tell no lie, tha blood just rushed ta mah head." Da felinoid lyrics sheepishly while chillin up in seiza.

[T/N: "Sittin up in a kneelin position" don’t carry tha nuizzle necessary up in dis case, seiza (正座) is tha res'pect chillin position, up in dis case, it shows da crew your bad with ya booty-ass.]

"Pffffttt, it looked like you was slaughterin a funky-ass pimp dat cheated on yo thugged-out ass." Rick is chewin on a piece of snake jerky wit both his handz behind his head, layin down while leanin and chillin.

"Do we gotta put Bell-ne on a leash tha next time~?"

"Yo brah, dafuks a ‘leash’?"

"It’s suttin' you tie ta one of mah thugs’s neck ta prevent dem from goin too far."

"Kiiiinky biatch y'all."

"Betyoass it is." Kun turns away from tha fox n' focuses his wild lil' fuckin eyes on tha red sword above Bell’s head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "First thangs first, we need ta git rid of dis shit."

"Eh, what’s tha rule fo' gettin rid of it again?" Bell looks up as well, pondering.

"Let’s see~ Da formula is X times 24 minutez of log up in time. Then 0.1%-0.5% fixed minusing from tha penalty time fo' each eligible mob kill~ Durin dis time, experience lost as a result from dirtnap is 10 times tha aiiight amount."

Da others turn ta peep her muthafuckin ass.

"Where is you gettin this…, biatch? This aint up in tha help section…" Rick is pokin n' flickin his wild lil' fingers tha fuck into tha air as da perved-out muthafucka searches all up in tha intercourse. Likewise, Kun is bustin tha same while Bell gots outta her seiza posizzle n' is now chillin up in a agura position.

[T/N: "Sittin up in a cold-ass lil cross-legged position" don’t carry tha nuizzle like wit seiza. In dis case, agura (胡座) is considered a unsightly chillin posizzle since dem hoes aren’t sposed ta fuckin sit up in dis way. It’s also used ta indicate Bell’s attitude. In dis case, either her dope ass don’t care fo' manners or dat she feels close enough ta mah playas ta do dis and show off her bad booty ass (or a lil' bit of both).]

"Oh~! Yo ass just access tha command sidebar n' connect it ta tha external terminal by typin up in ‘browse -x -remote’, then you can use tha terminal browser thang inside tha game. Just don’t share it wit mah playas~"

""AH!""

"Huh?"

"Mm?"

Rick n' Bell shanizzles excitedly as they open they own browser while Kun n' Gui both share a thugged-out dumbass expression, not shizzle what’s goin on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it lasted fo' all of a second since there be pressin thangs at hand.

"So there’s two thangs dat we need ta do: Bell has ta lose dat Murderer status. We need ta smoke up what’s goin on wit tha bizzatches. Our thugged-out asses have no clue what tha fuck is goin on wit tha First Supa-Hoe yo, but dem playas mentioned tha Third Princess… our phat asses definitely need mo' shiznit."

"Kun brah has a point… since dice is we might gotta break tha fuck into dat hideout one of these days, there’s a high chizzle one of our asses is goin ta take a thugged-out dirt nap." Rick agrees while shiftin a piece of jerky up in his crazy-ass grill. "Unless Bell don’t mind losin her booty-ass pounded, 10 times tha experience, don’t dat mean she might even lose a level, biatch? Although dat do explain how tha fuck Kun gots all kindsa muthafuckin levels from dem crystals…"

Da felinoid cook up a gangbangin' finger-lickin' hard as fuck face. "Well, I’ve some leeway up in tha next few days, guess I’ll go grind some mobs n' have tha lil playas slice dem deadbeats…"

"In dat case, we will go back ta Lilyheim ta gather mo' shiznit~"

Kun starts rubbin his chin, "Yo ass know… been thang thinking… Rick, git me 10 piecez of Marsh Viper leather within 12 hours biatch?"

"Eh?" Rick cook up a thugged-out retard expression. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "What for?"

"Hmm, guess brah got no hustle…"

"Ah, I peep what tha fuck yo ass is tryin ta do!" Bell smacks a gangbangin' fist tha fuck into her palm, while chewin on a snake jerky five day until Sunday. "It ain't no work eh, too bad."

"Yo ass is done repentin already, biatch? And what tha fuck is it dat da thug was tryin ta do, cook up a pair of snake trousers or something?" Da blond youth narrows his wild lil' fuckin eyes as da perved-out muthafucka slowly chews on tha meat.

"Hmm~?" Till tilts her head slightly, remainin silent as Bell n' Rick bantas fo' realz. Afta tha youth gots knocked up in tha head n' backed away from tha felinoid, she places her right hand, palm up, up in front of her ass, while nodding, placin her left hand over tha right hand, claspin dem together n' shit. "Rick-ni, I request dat you git me a funky-ass bundle of dem elongated fruit within 12 hours, tha reward is 1 silver."

Da piece of snake jerky falls outta Rick’s grill, as da perved-out muthafucka stares blankly all up in tha transparent window before his wild lil' fuckin eyes. Da crew turns dey head at his sudden silence n' stillness, even Bell’s expression got a chillin'. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. Like boogiewoogie by a Bob Marley n' shiz, Rick shamblez towardz tha supply tent, grabs a round bundle of fruit n' returns, droppin dem tha fuck into Till’s hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Both Rick n' Till rub they eyes as they peep they respectizzle windows fo' realz. A moment later, tha hoe grabs suttin' from her waist-pouch n' handz over a lil' small-ass silver coin.

"Kun-ni… Where did you git dis scam from~?"

"EEEHHHHH!, biatch? It works?!" Da realization of what tha fuck just occurred hits tha felinoid like a sudden squall on a sunny day.

*kon*

"Shhhhhh! Yo ass wanna raise up tha kids?" Rick, up in a reversal of roles, smacks Bell up in tha head ta on tha down-low her down.

"I figured, since tha hustlas can use tha magic our slick asses hustled from Alfina’s books, they should be tha same as us… right, biatch? All our niggs tha NPCs can do requests on our behalf like when we was tryin ta isolate dem two guilds. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Since we need shiznit, we can hustle some help from tha NPCs muthafukas… no?"

"How, what, how tha fuck is NPCs tha same ol' dirty as us?!" Rick make a incredulous face, then tha pimpin' muthafucka turns n' peep tha gray fox dat disappeared at some point n' is now chewin on a piece of snake jerky as well. Placin his head up in his hands, his schmoooove ass can only mumble a "nevermind" as he relishes tha def sensation from tha silver coin seepin tha fuck into his wild lil' face.

"Nyahahahaha, MAH NIGGAH! MAH NIGGAH!" Da felinoid suppresses her buckwild voice, as she repeats tha word nuff muthafuckin times while trippin' off tha new shizzle thang.

"But dis was just between users, we need ta peep if it hangs wit NPCs." Kun starts gettin up. "I’m goin ta test it wit tha sentries."

Da blond youth’s head suddenly snaps up. "Hold ya ass boy, if it hangs, I just gots a schnizzlemahwizzle. Let me join yo thugged-out ass."

"What yo dirty ass got planned yo…?"

* * * * *

"Eh, biatch? So dis is tha place, biatch? Not bad, not wack at all." I mumble ta mah dirty ass as I git escorted tha fuck into a misty forest by a crew of pimps dat have beastial features. In front of me be a multistory buildin wit a big-ass field bustlin wit activitizzles up in front of dat shit. Just behind, I can peep a shitload of log buildingz of various sizes as well as various facilities.

"Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin Zinnia Academy, Masta Barthos yo. Hoes call me Echo, I'ma be yo' liaison, if you have any thangs, let me know."

"Don’t be all kindsa stiff, mah pimp dawwwwg! Just call me Barthos!" I give tha lean playa a slap on his back as some stablehandz lead tha dog-like horses away. "Ah, dem is tha other instructors, I take it?" I point all up in tha various figures fightin vigorously on tha field.

"Damn straight dawg, they tha instructors Kun-dawg hired ta help expand tha Academy. Would you like ta join them?"

Huh… rockin a game ta train playas eh… guess oldschool Hank wasn’t clownin at all yo. Huh… what tha fuck tha hell…

"Fuck dat shit, mo' blinginly, whoz ass built dem buildings, biatch? Aside from dat big-ass buildin up in front, tha rest of dem feel wrong!"

"Hmm… da fuck do you mean?"

Without botherin ta explain all tha details ta dis Echo, I run tha nuff muthafuckin hundred metas ta tha nearest building like dem fat kids to da icecream truck, causin Echo ta chase afta mah dirty ass. Wait… I’m hustlin, biatch? Damn, no wonder they was hirin all dem Untouchablez n' even oldschool Pamuk, dis might just work up fo' em. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Shakin mah head, I chase dem idle thoughts up as I inspect tha log buildin up in front of mah dirty ass.

"Damn dat shiznit son!" I turn round as I wait fo' tha liaison ta catch up ta me, freakshizzling, he’s standin right behind mah dirty ass.

"Da hell man?"

"Dem buildings, we gotta repair them, or even rekt dat shiz."

Da man’s ears perk straight up from tha shock like getting watermelon with mah waffl'n chick'n. "But… we built dem a whiff and a drag ago."

"Who’s tha engineer?"

"Engineer?"

"Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck pimped up you ta build dem like this?!" I can feel a headache comin on, dis game’s simulation is too realistic fo' me, I didn’t expect dumbmuthafuks wit no construction knowledge ta be buildin thangs here as well.

"Ther ain't none, our laid-back asses just built these buildings like our phat asses do durin expeditions."

"Expeditions…, biatch? Those be shack for naps you muthafuck'nfools! Des be real buildings right!, biatch? And this, THIS!" I point all up in tha warped piecez of lumber on tha building. "Did no one be thinkin ta use green-wood construction steez! These buildings could be collapsin up in weeks muthafucka! AHHH!"

[T/N: I had no clue wtf green-wood construction was so I decided ta look it up fo' realz. Apparently fresh lumbers (known as chronic wood) probably can’t be used ta build thangs as is since it needz months or even muthafuckin years fo' tha wood ta season (dry up) ta ensure stability, free from breakage, shrinkage n' warping. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Since there’s no mentionin of tha speciez of trees involved, I can only surmise dat engineers up in EC’s Ghetto have thought up of ways ta use fresh lumber without requirin ta wait fo' tha wood ta dry. This also explains how tha fuck they was able ta construct Kun’s freshly smoked up facilitizzles rockin fresh lumbers as well.]

"… Come wit me, if what tha fuck you holla'd is true, we need ta resolve dis quicker than a muthafucka." Da playa dashes off towardz a particularly robust building, wit me followin right behind.

* * * * *

*kan* *kan* *dokkan*

"Dogg damn it, five days muthafucka! Just five minutes n' every last muthafuckin thang went ta hell!"

"Quit complainin n' help, you fagnabber!"

Rick is up in a cold-ass lil crouchin posizzle afta throwin up ballz of ice ta bludgeon some enemies by rotatin n' flippin rapidly, complainin bitterly. Bell, on tha other hand, is desperately fendin off users, non-users, n' mobs alike fo' realz. A chaotic scene of a massive battle royale is playin up within tha clearin n' tha surroundin jungle area.

"We shoulda waited fo' Kun n' Gui!"

"Den we be late like a trippa!"

"Bell-ne, duck~!" A blasto of air *hyuu* over tha felinoid whoz ass kneels down up in tha nick of time, bustin a human swordsman n' his sweepin sword tha fuck into a crew of fatassmidgets, whoz ass immediately dispatches his ass wit dem axes.

…

…

…

Da dizzle followin Rick’s proclamation of a plan, Rick n' Till went ta Lilyheim ta carry it out. They first axed fo' permission ta use tha [Request Bulletin] up in tha town-square from tha guards, dat shiznit was a strange request yo, but tha guardz had no beef, especially since they is hang wit Kun and crew, whoz ass brought tha slavers in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da request was simple.

Quest: Show your scholarly prowess!

Show yo' knowledge n' gotz a cold-ass lil chizzle ta win a scholarshizzle ta Zinnia Academy attended by Nobilitizzles n' Royaltizzles alike biaaatch! Each freshly smoked up piece of shiznit regardin Norman Mackdaddydom’s First Princess, Third Princess, n' tha Royalties, is ghon be rewarded wit 1 silver n' a lottery slip fo' tha drawing!